Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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