ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
