Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
