you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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