Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I had to cum in my sink.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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