The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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