Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
