Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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