Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
