Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
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