just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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