5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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