Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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