she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
