I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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