shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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