if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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