Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
