Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
