You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
