Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have aggressive nipples.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize