I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
