Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
