Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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