i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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