I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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