she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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