but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your cock deserves a montage
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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