Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i would punch a child for taco bell
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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