i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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