Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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