now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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