I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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