Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
