She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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