I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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