This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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