PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
