the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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