if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
