He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize