the condom got lost in my hair
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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