The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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