Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
