im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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