I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
