Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
