I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
