Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Found the puke drawer
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
