Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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