The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do vagina's smell?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
