I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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