Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So much Jack, so little girl.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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