If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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