i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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