i just had sex bonerless
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
