At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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