did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
