Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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