Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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