So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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